Friday, June 10, 2011
4am
It's 4am and I'm awake again for the second morning in a row. My mind just won't turn off. I dream about yesterday when I put soap on my grandpa's finger to work his ring off. I think of his hands, still warm, and how they won't hold mine anymore. My grandpa was my hero, the kindest, most gentle man I've ever known. I'll miss his jokes, I'll miss his black converse and his Alaska belt buckle. I'll miss the way he always took time for us grandkids when we came to visit. I'll miss the way he answered the phone. Even though I knew this day was coming, I couldn't ever be ready. I'm hoping that at some point I'll cry and let all this emotion out. His funeral will be in 5 days, maybe then. I guess part of me isn't quite ready to accept that he's gone and the crying might make that fact real. I'm not sure how to end my thoughts...I loved my grandpa...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Brittany,
I am so so sorry Sweetie. No matter how prepared we think we are... We just aren't. It's so hard to let go. I lost my Gramps quite a while ago. I completely understand the not being able to cry. It'll come honey. Hold on to all those beautiful memories. I wish I had some words of wisdom or something to make it better. He is in a better place. If I can help in any way, let me know. If you need someone to talk to or anything... Especially with the insomnia, don't think twice. I'll listen anytime. You're Grandpa sounded like a loving good man. My prayers and blessings are with you during this difficult time. May your Grandpa rest in peace and live on in spirit. ((( hugs )))
Kristy
This was so beautiful! You are lucky to have a grandpa like him and he is so lucky to have you!
Post a Comment