Patience is not my strong point.

I've been dreaming about running. In my dream I can run far and fast and it feels wonderful. When I wake up I remember that I can't and it sucks. I hurt my knees in June. It's IBTS or runner's knee. I've kept off the running, I've been to the doctor, but I really haven't done much to prevent the problem coming back.

I've been planning to run Wharf to Wharf since March when I started running. It was a goal to show myself that I can do anything I set my mind to. The running has not only helped me to lose 40 pounds, but the mental health has been unbelievable! When I had to stop running, my motivation for any exercise kind of went out the door. I didn't know what to do or where to start. I did some walking, but just didn't get the rush or the accomplished feeling that I get after a run.

Anyway, I was planning on walking the Wharf to Wharf with some other ladies that were walking too. At the start of the race we had to jog, just a little to kind of filter everyone out... It was like giving a junky crack, I couldn't stop running. It felt SO wonderful! I told the other ladies that I was just going to run for a few minutes and then fall back on the right and walk again until we caught up to each other. I'm so impatient. I couldn't help myself and ran the first mile.

The running felt so great that at first I thought that I might be able to run the whole race, but by about .75 miles I could feel my knees. I got to the first mile marker and knew I had to start walking. I kept a fast walk, but by the end of the 2nd mile my knees actually hurt and the limp started. I had to limp out the rest of the 4 miles. I was so disappointed, so frustrated, and so embarrassed with myself for not just walking the whole thing.

I spent the rest of the day in a kind of haze. My husband and I were sitting in a restaurant on the water, eating fish tacos, great weather, and I was just blahhh. I couldn't shake the upset all day.

Today, I feel the motivation to call personal trainer and get my knees back in shape. I don't ever want to be in this position again. Obviously, just staying off the knees isn't going to make it better and I need to figure out what I'm going to do to keep myself from getting fat and crazy again! Today I'm really going to start healing. :)